


Red Queen's Vengeance

by Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw



Series: February Ficlet Challenge 2019 [26]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Reapers, Crack, F/F, Humor, Space Pirates, Threesome - F/F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 10:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17938076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw/pseuds/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw
Summary: In a galaxy light on Reapers, Shepard falls back on some alternative means of occupying her time.Pairing: Female Shepard/Samantha Traynor/Liara T'SoniPrompt: PiratesBeta by imaginary_golux





	Red Queen's Vengeance

**Author's Note:**

> Weirdly the hardest part of this was making the timelines work...

The thought never really left her after Jack had said it. “You could go rogue,” the biotic had urged. “Steal this ship, turn pirate.” She’d dismissed it at the time, with more important things to worry about. Getting revenge on the Collectors, for one. But she’d never forgotten the suggestion and several things happened in close succession to make her reconsider her refusal. 

First, they had stormed the Collector Base, destroying it completely--but not before discovering that Sovereign and the Collectors were but the last vestiges of the Reapers. If the Collectors’ communication records were accurate, there were no more than a dozen of the world-destroying ships left alive. Meh.

Second, with EDI unshackled, she had access to a huge amount of Cerberus files, including their plans to study and weaponize the Reaper indoctrination process. Number three followed right on the heels of number two: the Alliance refused to move openly against Cerberus. (She really should have suspected Udina’s perfidy earlier.) That left her to fight a one-woman war against the Illusive Man. So piracy it was. 

Not all of her targets were Cerberus, of course--she’d teamed up with her old flame, Liara, to topple the Shadow Broker early on. It hadn’t taken much convincing for the asari to rejoin her aboard the Normandy as they continued their campaign--and resumed their relationship.

A return to Horizon brought a skirmish with Cerberus forces--trying to study survivors of the Collectors’ raid-- and two more crew members for the Normandy. One returning face in Ashley Williams, who promptly began dating Kelly Chambers, and one new face in Samantha Traynor, who immediately began crushing on--and blushing around--both Liara and Shepard. 

The new arrivals led an uproariously drunk Shepard to proclaim that the Normandy was now an all-lesbian pirate ship and that men and heterosexuals would be shown the hatch at the earliest possible port of call. Without hesitating, Tali and Gabby Daniels looked at each other, shrugged, and snuggled together (to Ken Donnelly’s immediate and simultaneous heartbreak and prurient intrigue). Jack and Miranda finally gave into temptation, tearing at each other’s clothes. Kasumi had to do little more than wink at a willing Dr. Chakwas before pulling her into the shadows. 

“That’s what I like to see, people!” Shepard shouted, grabbing Liara and kissing her on the cheek. “C’mon, blue, let’s break in the new cabin girl.” She favored Traynor with a lecherous wink and pulled them both toward the elevator.

“Yes, _please_ ,” Traynor replied. So much for elaborate schemes to seduce the first human Spectre, she thought.

Joker turned to Garrus. “She, uh, wouldn’t actually kick _us_ , off, would she?”

The turian shrugged. “I’d pack a bag, just to be safe. And prepare a tall glass of orange juice and three aspirin for the Commander’s breakfast tomorrow.”


End file.
